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~bobastra:iconbobastra:

Astra  

  • Status: Member
  • Yellow Alien
  • Female/United States
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Aug 14, 2006, 11:40 PM
  • 66 Deviations
  • 11 Scraps [browse]
  • 1,357 Deviation Comments
  • 131 Deviant Comments
  • 1,969 Pageviews

Mayday.

Journal Entry: Tue May 6, 2008, 9:11 PM
I have never felt such a powerfully strong combination of fear and anger in my life as I do right now.

The worst part is that I really want to tell you guys, or just someone, anyone. I really do. But the truth is, I can't. It wouldn't be the best thing in any way for the situation, and I don't know if I could bring myself to do it. It's silly: I've never opened up to people as much as I've been doing recently, and you know what? No one knows any of the stuff that I could use actual advice on. Now I feel really pathetic, too.

After Harry Potter came out, I stopped drinking water. The headaches were worth it, because it helped me get through that empty, emotionless stage of grief. I know it's unhealthy, but I think I might try it again. Maybe it'll help. I know it's pathetic, and it's weak, but I think for the next few days it might be worth it.

Right now, I can feel life in the pit of my stomach, and in my lungs, and it aches. I hope you know what I mean, you've felt those strong emptions right in the pit of your stomach. It's a good feeling if you're happy. I like the stark contrast of the shallow emotions, or feelings in general, that one so often encounters. Shallow is a good word to describe how I am not feeling right now.. I like it (the word).

Occasionally some of you, my lovely Deviant Art friends, have written me somewhat lengthy, rather sympathetic responses. I know I'm being vague in my.. what, complaining? Nevertheless, if you can think of something to "me conseiller" (I don't know how to spell that in English..), it would really mean the world to me. Even if it's cynical or cheesy or whatever, I'd really appreciate just.. advice? Something to let me know that I'm not alone, or give me insight as to what comes next? Becuase I really am scared.. If you know me worth a damn, you should be able to tell just from this. I never ask anyone for help.

But other than that, don't worry about me. When people get like this I tend to worry they'll do something drastic, and as far as the typical depressed stuff, I've decided that in not doing that I'll be proving my mom wrong, which is something I'd really want to do at the moment, and pretty much my whole life.

I know life goes on, I'm just scared I'll end up like one of those people who gets their life stuck in a rut and lets life keep on going without ever getting out of it.



...I just never expected it to hurt this much.

  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Gordon Ramsay
  • Reading: Le Petit Prince
  • Watching: Hell's Kitchen
  • Drinking: I'm pulling a Dr. Kelso (post-dog-death)

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 15
  • Current Residence: If I were a barnacle, I'd like to live on a big blue whale.
  • Interests: I like to read and think and talk and be inspired and exercise and most of all I like to laugh.
  • Favourite movie: I like watching Harry Potter movies at midnight.
  • Favourite genre of music: Wizardrock.
  • Favourite artist: Banksy
  • Favourite poet or writer: Joanne Rowling.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Spongebob.
  • Tools of the Trade: Imagination.

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

*zoundsister:iconzoundsister: 13 hours 45 minutes ago
Thanks for the fav!:heart:
~chloh:iconchloh: 19 hours 49 minutes ago
[link]
. Thanks for the advice dear :)

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:ohnoes: :orange:
~bobastra:iconbobastra: 22 hours 9 minutes ago
sure :D it was very cute.

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~OrCh1d:iconOrCh1d: 1 day 11 hours ago
Thanks a lot for your :+fav: on Castel in the Sky! :)
~bobastra:iconbobastra: 2 days 17 hours ago
sure:] i loved it!

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
*leahwest4:iconleahwest4: 2 days 22 hours ago
Thank you for faving 'Broken Doll'

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Mom, I am;
Artist, I wish
~bobastra:iconbobastra: May 5, 2008, 8:04:11 PM
:peace:

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~bobastra:iconbobastra: May 2, 2008, 11:31:01 PM
anytime!

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
*MindWinder:iconMindWinder: May 2, 2008, 11:25:47 PM Mood: Joy
Thanks alot for the fav
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 29, 2008, 7:57:36 PM
i've decided that i agree with you, The Green Gentlemen is probably my favorite. :D :D :D

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
=seventwofour:iconseventwofour: Apr 29, 2008, 3:55:33 PM
No problem. :) Yeah it is really good.

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:peace::heart:
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 28, 2008, 6:14:50 PM
haha. of course :D :D

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~chloh:iconchloh: Apr 28, 2008, 5:14:30 PM
LOL. Thanks dahling.

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:ohnoes: :orange:
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 27, 2008, 10:31:48 PM
hhahahaa, it told me and then didn't let me reply.
haha, it's all good though, because normally your nose is hellof hot.
x]

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~chloh:iconchloh: Apr 27, 2008, 9:58:47 PM
@ your comment: lmao. yeah. that's what I just noticed... and that's why I'm taking it off XD

(I replied to your comment on the picture and then I realized how futile it was because I was deleting it anyway. :D)

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:ohnoes: :orange:
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 20, 2008, 4:47:05 PM
of course!! i love your work :]

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 20, 2008, 4:46:30 PM
haha, no problem!!

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~planet-terror:iconplanet-terror: Apr 20, 2008, 4:28:59 PM
Oh haiii, thanks for the favourite! 8D
`dibbi:icondibbi: Apr 20, 2008, 3:02:08 PM
thank you so much for your :+fav: :)

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"Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard.."

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Bruno Pantone Art Photography
RedLight Studio
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 19, 2008, 1:40:19 PM
of course! it was really well done :]

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~Remagoen:iconRemagoen: Apr 19, 2008, 8:33:39 AM
Thanks for the fave!

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:stormtrooper::paranoid::stormtrooper:
Some things speak for themselves...

*ProsePlease
~AtheistsClub

[link]
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 17, 2008, 4:55:51 PM
hahaha. thanks x]

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have
~ShadowCat258:iconShadowCat258: Apr 17, 2008, 9:05:13 AM
i meant keep up the good work. hahaha
~bobastra:iconbobastra: Apr 15, 2008, 10:34:47 PM
haha. hey chelsea!
thank you :]
i wasn't plan on ever taking it down.
er, for a very long time, at least :]

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Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want , but the realization of how much you already have